Talking to myself – outloud

My morning conversations with my reflection go something like this:

Every morning as I look in the mirror and put on my face, I see my mother; I see my grandmother. As they did before me, I complain about the wrinkles.

“Aw crap.” I catch myself talking out loud to three generations living in the mirror.

It runs in the family. Growing up I always heard my mom talking to herself. Of course, I only heard half the conversation. Every day it was the same.

“I don’t know. I just don’t know,” mom complained.

To this day, I have no idea what she was in a quandary about.

Is it a ‘growing older’ thing or a woman thing?

Many of the women I know who are over 40 can be caught talking out loud to themselves. I’m talking pep talks and full-blown conversations. Whether we do it as a means to come up with a solution or we simply enjoy our own company, it is a quality we share.

I suppose there’s nothing wrong with it, as long as we keep it positive and supportive. We are our own personal cheerleaders after all.

Now that 35 years have passed, I wonder if my mom’s self-talks have changed? I imagine them now to be, “I know, I know.” Hopefully, after all these years she has been able to come up with some answers.

Bless you, mom for showing me the beauty in being yourself, in being authentic, weird and normal.

Maybe she was trying to figure out how to slow the aging process, but I don’t know. I just don’t know.

 

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